About this Video

• Video Title: C-PTSD and UNLEARNING Helplessness: Why You Numb Out & How To Reclaim Emotional Agency
• Channel: Heidi Priebe
• Speakers: Heidi Priebe
• Duration: 00:27:20

Introduction

This video discusses learned helplessness in the context of complex PTSD (C-PTSD), toxic shame, and attachment issues. Heidi Priebe explains how these conditions can lead to emotional numbing and the suppression of feelings, and she offers strategies to regain emotional agency and reconnect with authentic emotional responses.

Key Takeaways

1. Learned Helplessness: Individuals with C-PTSD or toxic shame may develop learned helplessness, believing their feelings are unimportant or detrimental to achieving goals. This leads to numbing out emotions as a coping mechanism.
2. The False Self: To cope with early trauma, individuals often create a false persona that represses emotions to achieve a sense of safety and agency. This false self isn't the true self.
3. Unlearning Helplessness: The process of regaining emotional agency involves recognizing that feelings are not inherently shameful and that they provide valuable information. This includes naming and acknowledging emotions as they arise.
4. Honoring Feelings: Small daily practices, such as acknowledging tiredness and resting instead of self-criticism, help to build emotional awareness and responsiveness. Gradually, individuals can act on their feelings in small ways.
5. Finding Safe Spaces: Seeking therapy, support groups, or other safe environments where emotional expression is accepted is crucial for developing emotional autonomy.

1. The Learned Helplessness Experiment: The video references an experiment from the 1960s involving three groups of dogs. One group received inescapable electric shocks, another received no shocks, and a third could escape the shocks. When all three groups were later given escapable shocks, only the dogs who initially had no control over the shocks failed to escape, demonstrating learned helplessness.

2. Numbing Out Feelings: The video lists several ways people numb out their feelings, including using substances (legal or illegal), developing rigid behavioral patterns or compulsions, and getting stuck in thought loops or rumination.

3. Layers of Self-Concept: The video describes two layers: (1) the strategic, top layer – the adapted persona presented to the world; and (2) the underlying layer – comprising compulsive habits, addictions, and obsessive thought patterns that mask raw emotions. In those with toxic shame, this second layer is mistakenly perceived as the true self, while it's actually a defense mechanism.

4. Daily Steps to Unlearn Helplessness: The video suggests daily practices to unlearn helplessness: (a) noticing and naming a raw sensation or emotion at least once a day; (b) acting on those feelings in small ways (e.g., resting when tired instead of self-criticizing); and (c) seeking safe environments (therapy, support groups) to practice emotional expression.