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This video features Chris Voss discussing the effective use of open-ended questions, particularly "How am I supposed to do that?", in negotiation and persuasion. He emphasizes that the primary purpose isn't necessarily to obtain a direct answer, but to trigger deeper thinking and understanding in the other party, leading to more collaborative outcomes.
The Power of "How am I supposed to do that?": This open-ended question is highlighted as a powerful tool for negotiation. It stops the other party, forces them to consider the speaker's perspective, and promotes empathy. This often results in a more collaborative environment, leading to more favorable outcomes.
Timing Matters: While open-ended questions can elicit thoughtful responses anytime, asking direct questions like "What's the biggest challenge you face?" is more effective earlier in the day when mental energy is higher.
Identifying Limits: The question's purpose is to uncover the limits of the other party's position without causing anger or resentment. The response, even a negative one, provides valuable information about the other party's motivations and constraints.
Misinterpreting Data: Even when the "How am I supposed to do that?" question doesn't yield the desired immediate result, it still provides valuable information. A lack of success reveals important insights into the other party's unwillingness to collaborate.
Avoid Pushing to Anger: Voss contrasts his approach with older negotiation techniques that involved pushing the other party until they were angry. He argues that this approach leaves a toxic residue, harming long-term relationships, unlike his method which identifies limits without inducing anger.
