About this video

• Video Title: Cici's Ennea Typing Video 2/2
• Channel: Cicilka
• Speakers: Cici
• Duration: 00:09:12

Overview

This video features Cici discussing her life choices, including her career path in computing, her desire to have children, and her past relationships. She reflects on her motivations for choosing her current field, her feelings about marriage and family, and her experiences with stress and difficult emotions. Cici also shares a significant positive memory related to her admission to a specialized school.

Key takeaways

• Career Choice: Cici initially had difficulty deciding on a career, knowing she wanted to go to college but not what to study. She chose computing, a field that people perceive as suiting her, and one that offers financial stability and the possibility of working from home.
• Family and Relationships: Cici always wanted to have children and felt a shared desire with her ex-partner. However, she found romantic relationships demanding, often feigning busyness to avoid the attention required. She explicitly states she does not want to date again due to the perceived effort involved.
• Emotional Spectrum: Cici identifies experiencing specific emotions: high excitement for certain things, anger when things happen, and a general state of low arousal. She finds it difficult to describe how she deals with stress, typically isolating herself.
• Positive Memory: A high point in her life was being accepted into a "Laboratory School" after her second attempt. She was motivated by a former tutor's positive experience at the school and dedicated herself to the application process, feeling happy and animated upon acceptance.
• Past Stress: During high school, Cici experienced significant stress, even wishing for an accident to provide a break from her responsibilities.

• 0:00 - 0:11: Cici discusses her uncertainty about her future career path after high school, despite knowing she wanted to attend college.
• 0:11 - 0:24: She explains that while she wanted to go to college, she wasn't sure what she wanted to study, feeling interested in many things but lacking a specific passion.
• 0:24 - 0:29: Cici mentions choosing computing, noting that others see it as a good fit for her.
• 0:29 - 0:33: She reflects on a conversation with a childhood friend who is now studying medicine, highlighting the contrast with her own career choice.
• 0:33 - 0:46: Cici elaborates that people see computing as suiting her, though it's not her "passion."
• 0:46 - 0:57: She expresses satisfaction with her current situation, acknowledging that while she doesn't have immense passion for computing, she also doesn't wish to be doing something else.
• 1:01 - 1:05: Music break.
• 1:05 - 1:11: Cici states she always knew she wanted to have children because she likes kids.
• 1:11 - 1:26: She explains that she never focused much on romance or boyfriends, her primary thought being about having children, not necessarily who the father would be.
• 1:36 - 1:43: Cici mentions that she and her ex-partner shared a strong desire to have a family and children.
• 1:46 - 2:03: She explains that she chose computing partly because it offered good financial prospects and the potential to work from home, allowing her and her partner (a designer) to care for their family.
• 2:03 - 2:13: Cici reiterates her desire to have children but her lack of focus on the father and her general avoidance of relationship concerns.
• 2:13 - 2:26: She expresses a reluctance to date again, finding relationships too much work and preferring not to share her time and attention. She admits to sometimes lying about being busy.
• 2:26 - 2:35: Cici felt that sharing her life with a partner was too draining.
• 2:35 - 2:45: When she and her ex separated, she hoped it wouldn't be a contentious breakup, but it ended up being a fight.
• 2:45 - 2:55: She believes her ex felt the separation was sudden and wanted closure or something he could understand.
• 2:55 - 3:04: Cici recounts her ex calling her "a robot" and saying he had no feelings.
• 3:04 - 3:15: Throughout their relationship, her ex often requested affection and attention, making Cici feel like she had to beg for basic interaction.
• 3:15 - 3:25: She describes herself as inaccessible and admits her ex felt she was asking him to beg for things.
• 3:29 - 3:42: Cici reiterates her disinterest in dating again because she finds it too much work.
• 3:50 - 3:59: She states her current goal is to graduate, something she always knew she would do, even if she wasn't sure what she'd study.
• 3:59 - 4:09: She hopes to secure a job that provides financial returns, viewing these as normal life goals.
• 4:15 - 4:36: When asked what irritates her, Cici refers back to her ex-partner, who she felt was overly needy and constantly sought her attention, which irritated her.
• 4:38 - 4:56: Cici describes experiencing only a few emotions: high excitement for some things, anger when events occur, and generally feeling a lack of strong emotions or arousal.
• 5:00 - 5:09: She struggles to articulate how she deals with stress, suggesting she doesn't handle it differently from her usual behavior.
• 5:16 - 5:23: Her typical response to stress is to isolate herself in her room.
• 5:25 - 5:31: Music break. Cici admits she doesn't feel stressed often.
• 5:31 - 5:47: She recalls a period in high school when she was very stressed, to the point of wishing for a non-fatal accident to give her a break.
• 5:47 - 6:01: Her wish was to be left alone without demands or expectations from others.
• 6:10 - 6:26: Cici describes feeling her best when she moved to her current location, which has a highly regarded "Laboratory School" associated with a university.
• 6:26 - 6:37: She notes that the city is small and not much else besides the university and schools, attracting people from all over.
• 6:45 - 6:54: Cici explains her desire to attend this school stemmed from a childhood experience with a math tutor who spoke highly of it.
• 6:54 - 7:11: Her tutor, who had interned there, was impressed by the school and wished she had the opportunity to study there at Cici's age.
• 7:11 - 7:19: Inspired by her tutor's strong recommendation, Cici decided it was worth the effort to try and get in.
• 7:19 - 7:33: She studied hard but didn't pass the first time. For the second attempt, she registered because the exam date coincided with another exam in a different city.
• 7:33 - 7:45: Cici enrolled in the school's exam because it was more convenient, and while she had some desire to get in, she didn't fully commit to studying for it.
• 7:50 - 7:57: She passed the exam, feeling happy and attributing it possibly to being more relaxed.
• 7:57 - 8:08: Passing the exam was a significant positive moment for her.
• 8:12 - 8:22: Cici cannot identify a single worst moment in her life.
• 8:25 - 8:35: Reflecting on different emotional states, she generally experiences low arousal, rarely feeling sad.
• 8:35 - 8:44: Her dominant emotions are either apathy ("nothing") or heightened excitement ("hype") and anger.
• 8:52 - 9:01: Cici is unable to answer a specific question and concludes the video.
• 9:01 - 9:09: She hopes YouTube's auto-generated captions will suffice, as she doesn't want to manually write the captions.