About this video

• Video Title: How to Apologize the Right Way the First Time
• Channel: Communication Coach Alexander Lyon
• Speakers: Alexander Lyon
• Duration: 00:08:31

Overview

This video provides a four-step framework for delivering effective apologies. It emphasizes the importance of sincerity and taking responsibility to repair relationships and rebuild trust. The speaker also touches on the legal implications of apologizing, suggesting it can be beneficial rather than detrimental.

Key takeaways

• Four Steps to an Effective Apology:
  1. Name the mistake and take full responsibility: Be specific about what you did wrong and avoid vague language or blaming others.
  2. Apologize and express remorse: Use clear language like "I apologize," "I'm sorry," or "I regret" and convey genuine feelings.
  3. Say what you'll do to solve the problem: Outline concrete actions you will take to rectify the situation or prevent it from happening again.
  4. Follow through with concrete action: Ensure your actions align with your words to rebuild trust and credibility.
• Ground Rules for Apologizing:
  • Only apologize if you genuinely did something wrong; avoid "false guilt."
  • Apologize face-to-face if possible, but email or text can also be used.
  • Sincerity is crucial; half-hearted apologies are ineffective.
• Legal Implications: Apologizing sincerely is unlikely to be used against you legally and can even be viewed favorably by judges and juries.

Here are some questions for B1 level students to answer after watching the video:

1. What are the four main steps to make a good apology?
2. Why is it important to say exactly what your mistake was, and not just say "I'm sorry I messed up"?
3. What does the speaker say about blaming other people when you apologize?
4. What kind of actions can you take to show you are sorry? Give one example.
5. Why do some people find it difficult to say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong"?

Here are some questions for B1 level students to answer after watching the video, along with the correct answers:

1. Question: What are the four main steps to make a good apology? Answer: The four steps are: 1. Name the mistake and take full responsibility. 2. Apologize and express remorse. 3. Say what you'll do to solve the problem. 4. Follow through with concrete action.

2. Question: Why is it important to say exactly what your mistake was, and not just say "I'm sorry I messed up"? Answer: It's important to be specific so the apology doesn't seem vague or half-hearted. Saying exactly what you did wrong shows you understand the problem and are taking full responsibility.

3. Question: What does the speaker say about blaming other people when you apologize? Answer: The speaker says it's not your job to point out the other person's mistakes. You should apologize for your part, and by leading with your own apology, the other person might be more likely to apologize for their part.

4. Question: What kind of actions can you take to show you are sorry? Give one example. Answer: You can take action to fix the problem or make sure it doesn't happen again. For example, if you made a technical error, you could attend a training session. If you hurt someone's feelings, you could do something nice for them.

5. Question: Why do some people find it difficult to say "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong"? Answer: Some people have trouble saying these words because they might be embarrassed, they don't want to admit they aren't perfect, or they worry it will be used against them.

Here are some multiple-choice questions for B1 level students, along with the correct answers:

1. Question: What is the first step in making a good apology, according to the video? a) Expressing sadness for the other person's feelings. b) Naming the mistake and taking full responsibility. c) Promising it will never happen again. d) Asking for forgiveness. Correct Answer: b) Naming the mistake and taking full responsibility.

2. Question: The video warns against a "phoney apology." Which of these is an example of a phoney apology? a) "I'm sorry for what happened." b) "I apologize for causing this problem." c) "I'm sorry that you feel that way." d) "I regret the harm my actions have caused." Correct Answer: c) "I'm sorry that you feel that way."

3. Question: When you apologize, what should you do about the other person's potential mistakes? a) List all their mistakes to show it wasn't only your fault. b) Ignore their mistakes completely. c) Focus only on your own actions and apologize for your part. d) Ask them if they also made any mistakes. Correct Answer: c) Focus only on your own actions and apologize for your part.

4. Question: What is the purpose of the third step in apologizing ("Say what you'll do to solve the problem")? a) To make the other person feel better immediately. b) To explain why the mistake happened. c) To show you are taking action to fix things or prevent future issues. d) To get the other person to apologize back. Correct Answer: c) To show you are taking action to fix things or prevent future issues.

5. Question: What does the video suggest about the legal implications of apologizing? a) You should never apologize because it can be used against you in court. b) Apologizing can sometimes be used as evidence against you in serious situations. c) A sincere apology will almost never be used successfully against you and might even be viewed favorably. d) Apologizing has no impact on legal matters. Correct Answer: c) A sincere apology will almost never be used successfully against you and might even be viewed favorably.