About this video

• Video Title: How to Create a Meaningful Life with Brad Stulberg | Being Well
• Channel: Forrest Hanson
• Speakers: Forrest Hanson, Brad Stulberg
• Duration: 01:26:45

Overview

This video features a conversation between Forrest Hanson and author/coach Brad Stulberg about creating a meaningful life through the pursuit of excellence. They discuss Stulberg's new book, "The Way of Excellence," and explore concepts like involved engagement, the difference between skill and excellence, overcoming nonchalance, building resilience, and finding satisfaction in the process rather than solely focusing on outcomes.

Key takeaways

• Defining Excellence: Excellence is defined as involved engagement in something worthwhile that aligns with one's values and goals. It's a process of becoming, not a destination.
• Beyond Perfectionism: True excellence is distinct from perfectionism and the need to win at all costs. It emphasizes a high-quality process over solely focusing on results.
• The "48-Hour Rule": After significant successes or failures, it's important to acknowledge the emotions for a limited time (around 48 hours) before returning to the work itself to maintain focus on the process.
• Innate Drive: Humans, like other organisms, have an innate drive for self-realization and flourishing, which is the foundation for pursuing excellence.
• Reclaiming Excellence: The conversation aims to reclaim the concept of excellence from superficial "hustle culture" and redefine it as a meaningful, accessible pursuit for everyone.
• Skill vs. Excellence: While skill is necessary for excellence, excellence itself requires deep care and a specific feeling tone, not just technical proficiency.
• Combating Nonchalance: The "epidemic of nonchalance" is often a defense mechanism against fear of failure or vulnerability. True engagement, even with the risk of heartbreak, leads to a richer life.
• Building Identity: A resilient sense of self is built by cultivating multiple "rooms" in one's "identity house," rather than relying on a single achievement or role.
• Gumption and Curiosity: Developing "gumption" (a feeling that no obstacle can stop you) and shifting from fear to curiosity are crucial for navigating challenges and pursuing meaningful goals.
• Completion as Ritual: Recognizing and celebrating milestones, even on an ongoing path, imbues life with gravity and meaning, preventing everything from bleeding into one task after another.
• Satisfaction over Ease: True satisfaction comes from overcoming challenges, not just from easy, short-term pleasures.

Brad Stulberg defines excellence as having three components:

1. Involved engagement: This means deep concentration, a sense of caring, and a sense of intimacy with the activity.
2. Something worthwhile: This is subjective and lies in the eye of the beholder, but it must be something the individual finds meaningful and energizing.
3. Alignment with values and goals: The pursuit must be in sync with the individual's core values and personal objectives.

The "identity house" analogy suggests viewing one's identity like a house with multiple rooms. Each room represents a different aspect of who a person is.

This relates to resilience because:

• If you only have one room: If a significant event (like injury for an athlete or a child leaving home for a parent) "catches fire or floods" that single room, it can be incredibly destabilizing, requiring you to "move out of the house altogether."
• If you have multiple rooms: Having several "rooms" in your identity house means that if one aspect of your life faces a crisis, you have other areas of your identity to draw strength from and seek refuge in. This prevents a single setback from completely overwhelming you.

In essence, a more complex identity with multiple rooms makes a person more resilient by providing a broader and more stable foundation for their sense of self, allowing them to better withstand life's challenges.