How to Know What You Really Want

About this video

• Video Title: How to Know What You Really Want
• Channel: Certified Life Coach Institute
• Speakers: Anthony, Brooke, Jen
• Duration: 55:19

Overview

This video discusses how to identify one's true desires and wants, distinguishing them from societal expectations or superficial cravings. The speakers explore the concepts of needs versus wants, the influence of values, the mimetic principle of influenced desires, and the importance of understanding underlying motivations. They also touch on how coaches can help clients uncover their authentic wants and the role of purpose in navigating life's challenges.

Key takeaways

• Distinguishing Wants from Needs: The discussion differentiates between needs (essential for well-being) and wants (desires that can be ignored), noting that wants can sometimes override needs, as seen in addiction.
• The Role of Values: It's explored whether values inform desires or if desires shape values, with the perspective that people often justify their wants by adopting corresponding values.
• Mimetic Principle: The concept that individuals often adopt wants based on observing others, particularly amplified by social media, leading to a pursuit of external validation rather than intrinsic satisfaction.
• Purpose and Motivation: The importance of having a purpose that transcends the self (eudaimonia) for resilience and fulfillment, especially during difficult times, is highlighted.
• Coaching to Uncover Wants: Coaches should ask probing questions like "Why do you want that?" to help clients understand the emotional relevance and deeper motivations behind their stated desires.
• Values vs. Desires: The distinction is made between values as conceptual spheres (e.g., valuing nature) and desires as the actions taken based on those concepts (e.g., choosing not to eat meat). The relationship between them is explored, with one perspective suggesting desires inform values.
• The Chicken and Egg: The relationship between values and desires is complex, with the video concluding that both are important and intertwined, and coaches help clients identify and understand these elements.