About this Video

• Video Title: If you feel lonely & uninterested in life, watch this video…
• Channel: Ben Smith
• Speakers: Ben Smith
• Duration: 00:13:34

Introduction

This video addresses loneliness experienced by individuals on a spiritual path. The speaker, Ben Smith, shares his personal experiences and insights into why this loneliness occurs and how to navigate it. He emphasizes the importance of balance between spiritual pursuits and engagement with the "mundane" aspects of life.

Key Takeaways

• Loneliness on the spiritual path: Deepening spiritual practice can lead to a disconnect from those not sharing the same interests, causing feelings of loneliness and isolation. This is normal and not a sign of failure.
• Comparison and the ego: Comparing one's spiritual journey to others' can create a sense of difference and isolation. The ego may amplify these feelings.
• The importance of balance: Maintaining a balance between spiritual practices and engagement in "normal" life activities (socializing, hobbies, etc.) is crucial for overall well-being and preventing excessive isolation.
• Community and support: Finding a supportive community, either online or in person, can alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide a sense of belonging.
• Overcoming the ego's resistance: As spiritual growth progresses, the ego may resist change, leading to increased feelings of loneliness. This is a sign of progress, not failure.

Here are the answers based on the provided transcript:

1. Specific examples from Ben Smith's life: Ben Smith mentions that after 25 years on his spiritual path, things he used to find interesting (news, football games, cinema, etc.) are no longer appealing. He notes a significant drop-off in his interest in experiences outside of spiritual pursuits, even things like holidays or social outings with friends. He states there's almost nothing that interests him other than teaching (which he considers a spiritual interest). He also describes periods of feeling disconnected from others, feeling like an "alien" or "black sheep."

2. Role of comparison in fostering loneliness: Ben Smith explains that the problem arises when spiritual seekers compare their interests (which are different due to their spiritual path) to those of their friends, family, and others. This comparison highlights a perceived gap, leading to feelings of being strange, different, weird, and lonely. He emphasizes that this difference is natural because their spiritual journey leads them down a different path, but that comparison is what makes it feel problematic.

3. Strategies for mitigating loneliness and maintaining balance: Ben Smith suggests two main strategies:

   • Finding community: Connect with like-minded individuals, either through online communities (like his online school or YouTube) or in-person groups (temples, Buddhist centers, etc.). This provides a sense of belonging and shared experience.
   • Balancing spiritual and worldly life: He advocates for maintaining a balance between deep spiritual practice and engaging in "normal" life activities. Even briefly stepping back from intense spiritual focus can be refreshing and help maintain connection with the wider world and other people, ultimately reducing feelings of isolation.

4. Two things spiritual seekers should be wary of: Ben Smith cautions against two things:

   • Falling into sadness or depression: He acknowledges the potential for feeling alone and isolated. He warns that prolonged dwelling on these feelings allows the ego to seize upon and amplify them.
   • Excessive isolation: While deep spiritual work is important, he stresses the importance of avoiding excessive isolation, as this can lead to a greater sense of disconnect from others.