“It's RARE!" - The #1 Trait You SHOULD Look For in a Woman | Blaine Anderson

About this video

• Video Title: “It's RARE!" - The #1 Trait You SHOULD Look For in a Woman | Blaine Anderson
• Channel: The Iced Coffee Hour Clips
• Speakers: Blaine Anderson, Jack
• Duration: 10:28

Overview

This video clip discusses essential traits to look for in a long-term partner, focusing on psychological stability and how to identify "green flags" through dating conversations. Blaine Anderson and Jack explore effective questioning techniques, the importance of not being overly focused on self-improvement before dating, and the negative impact of ghosting in relationships.

Key takeaways

• Psychological Stability as a Green Flag: A key trait to look for in a partner is the ability to remain calm through minor chaos, indicating psychological stability. This applies to both men and women.
• Identifying Green Flags Through Questions: Questions about past jobs, hobbies like skiing or speaking a foreign language can reveal ambition, dedication, and openness to new experiences.
• Asking About Exes: Discussing past relationships can be revealing. While a tirade or gossip about an ex is a red flag, a calm acknowledgment that the relationship didn't work out is a green flag. This topic is best reserved for later dates.
• Pacing First Dates: Focus on shared interests, aligned values, flirting, and having fun on a first date rather than an interrogation. Deeper inquiries can be made on subsequent dates.
• Conversation Balance: Aim for the other person to talk more (around 70%) on a date to better understand them, as people perceive dates more positively when they talk more.
• Directness vs. Social Norms: While following some social norms on a date is recommended, direct and honest observations (e.g., noticing shyness) can be effective and demonstrate confidence.
• Past Behavior as an Indicator: While people change, past behavior in relationships (e.g., consistently short-term vs. long-term, or going from one relationship to another) can offer insights, though it shouldn't be the sole determining factor.
• Dating While Developing: It's encouraged to start dating even while working on self-improvement, as you're never a finished product. Focus on meeting "table stakes" (decent shape, a job) before dating, but don't put dating on hold for minor improvements.
• The Issue with Ghosting: Ghosting causes confusion and prolonged emotional distress. A simple, respectful message indicating a lack of romantic connection is preferred.
• Seeking Feedback: Asking for honest feedback on dating profiles or first date experiences can be valuable for improvement, and surprisingly, often yields thoughtful responses.