About this video

• Video Title: My Therapy Session with Dr. Gabor Maté
• Channel: Hasan Minhaj
• Speakers: Hasan Minhaj, Dr. Gabor Maté
• Duration: 01:03:19

Overview

This video features a conversation between comedian Hasan Minhaj and physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté, exploring themes of trauma, childhood experiences, ADHD, personal responsibility, and the impact of societal and political events. The discussion is framed as a "therapy session" where Dr. Maté offers insights into Hasan's behaviors and anxieties, connecting them to broader psychological and developmental concepts.

Key takeaways

• ADHD and Time Sense: Dr. Maté suggests that Hasan's struggles with lateness and disorganization are linked to Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), stemming from underdeveloped time sense and motivation circuits, potentially influenced by early childhood stress.
• Trauma and Responsibility: The conversation highlights the difference between unpacking past trauma and using it as an excuse for current behavior, emphasizing that understanding one's past provides the responsibility to overcome its impact.
• Nature vs. Nurture in Behavior: Dr. Maté argues that people are not inherently "assholes" but develop certain coping mechanisms and worldviews based on their life experiences and upbringing, using Donald Trump as an example of how environment shapes personality.
• Emotional Maturity and Response Flexibility: The discussion touches on emotional maturity, impulse control, and response flexibility, suggesting that deficits in these areas can be linked to trauma and that therapy aims to develop these circuits for greater responsibility.
• Multigenerational Trauma: The conversation explores how trauma, particularly in the context of events like the partition of India and ongoing conflicts, can be passed down through generations, impacting individuals and communities.
• Needs for Children and Adults: Dr. Maté outlines essential needs for children, such as unconditional attachment and emotional validation, and for adults, including belonging, meaning, and purpose, suggesting that the frustration of these needs leads to dysfunctional behaviors.
• Intuition vs. Anxiety: The difference between genuine intuition and anxiety or self-doubt is clarified, with the former being a calm knowing and the latter being a perturbation rooted in confusion and trauma.
• Coping with Injustice: The video addresses the overwhelming nature of witnessing global suffering and injustice, with both Hasan and Dr. Maté sharing perspectives on how to cope, emphasizing the importance of contributing to healing and maintaining hope.

Dr. Gabor Maté discussed Donald Trump in the context of his behavior and personality. He explained that people are not born inherently "assholes" but develop certain traits based on their environment and experiences.

According to Mary Trump, Donald Trump's niece and a psychologist, Donald was not born aggressive, grandiose, or selfish. Instead, he was born an infant needing love and validation. However, he grew up in a family environment where, according to her book, his father, Fred Trump Sr., was a "sociopath" who treated his children harshly. This environment, Dr. Maté suggests, led Donald Trump to adapt by developing a worldview that the world is a "horrible place" and behaving in ways that are selfish, aggressive, and grandiose as a coping mechanism.

Dr. Maté also referenced Tony Schwarz, Trump's co-writer, who stated that Trump has a "reality distortion field," where if something should be true, he perceives it as true, which can lead to him not always lying, but rather existing in a subjective reality. Ultimately, Dr. Maté's point was that such behaviors are often manifestations of life experiences and trauma rather than inherent personality flaws.