In this episode of The Diary Of A CEO, host Steven Bartlett interviews Evie Porus, a former US Secret Service agent. They discuss various topics related to confidence, communication, decision-making, and self-regulation, drawing on Porus's extensive experience in high-stakes environments. Key themes include the importance of a professional demeanor at work, strategies for building confidence, understanding human behavior, and the impact of one's environment and mindset on personal success.
Evie Porus explains that "dwell time" is a significant factor in how social media algorithms operate. If a user spends more time on a particular post or type of content, the algorithm learns from this increased interest. Consequently, the platform will show the user more of that same content when they log in again, reinforcing their existing interests. This process can create a feedback loop where users are increasingly exposed to content that aligns with their past behavior, potentially shaping their perception of the world.
Evie Porus explains that predators and those who seek to manipulate or target others often look for specific traits that make someone an "easy target." These include appearing less confident, easily molded, or easily taken down. People who have a low tolerance for conflict and try to avoid confrontation at all costs might also be seen as easier targets. Additionally, giving unconditional trust too easily, appearing vulnerable, or not exhibiting strong "alpha" personality traits can inadvertently attract unwanted attention. To avoid appearing as an easy target, Porus suggests projecting strength and conviction, not being afraid to push back or be a "competitor," and being more selective about who you trust and how you engage with others.
Evie Porus learned from her Secret Service experience that using hands during communication is important for conveying trustworthiness. She explains that when people don't see hands, it can be perceived as a sign of untrustworthiness or deceit. Conversely, showing open hands signals that you are not a threat and are open, which is a psychological cue that has roots in prehistoric times. Seeing open hands, in this context, communicates trust and a lack of hidden weapons. She incorporated this into her communication strategy, keeping her hands visible and open to appear more approachable and trustworthy.
Evie Porus states that overthinking and overanalyzing can lead to a maxed-out cognitive load, akin to an overflowing bathtub. This state makes individuals inefficient, sloppy, unable to get things done effectively, stressed, and frazzled. She contrasts this with the approach of confident people who keep their "bathtub" light, meaning they don't overload their cognitive capacity and are comfortable not knowing everything. This strategy helps protect against overextending oneself, reduces stress, and prevents bad decisions, which are often a result of "decision fatigue." She emphasizes that being busy does not equate to being productive and that good leaders often simplify their responsibilities to be exceptional at key tasks.
