This GLITCH video, "THE AMAZING DIGITAL CIRCUS - Ep 5: Untitled," features Ragatha pitching several new adventure ideas to her team. The episode primarily focuses on the team's reactions to these ideas and a subsequent discussion about their preferences for future adventures, eventually leading to a softball game with "evil" clones.
[upbeat techno music plays] ♪♪ [cheerful music plays] [schwing!] -Welcome back, my candy hearts and paper flowers! [schwing!] -[grunts] -Well, that sure could have gone better. But I'm sure the next adventure will be less... uh, wet. -[Kinger]: Hey, Ragatha? Can you help me count my eggs before they hatch? -Oh, yeah, of course. Uh -- Wait, what? -Looks like that oh-so-positive Ragatha charm is starting to wear off, huh? -[groans] -Hmm. Hmm... -[Zooble]: Looks like this one was a home run, eh? -Oh, Zooble, you mismatched cash-piano. I'll tear YOU TO PIECE-- Constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated. -[Zooble]: But never acknowledged. -[growls] That's it! Everybody besides Zooble, get over here! [mystical shimmering] Everyone, I'm going to pitch to you some future adventure ideas, and I'm going to ask you to give me your honest opinions on them. -I was gonna sleep. -All right! So, I've got an adventure where you all tour my amazing magic chocolate factory and get killed off one by one from OSHA violations, one where a sentient cardiovascular system goes to war against the United States military, and one where you have to survive in a post-apocalyptic nuclear wasteland with a telepathic talking dog who's mean to you the whole time! What do you think? -Uh, I don't know. They all sound a little... uh, dark? -I can't tell a compelling story where nothing bad happens. Where's the intrigue? The stakes? -Not to mention the sssssex appeal. -What are you talking about? -[Zooble]: You know, you could always try the suggestion box again. I honestly didn't hate the last one we did with it. -You... didn't hate it? -[Zooble]: It was kind of refreshing doing something grounded in reality. -Yeah, I really didn't mind that one, either. -Uh, what about the rest of you? [overlapping chatter] -[Jax]: I very much did not enjoy that one in the slightest, and if we ever do anything even close to that again, I'm getting violent, and I'm going to kill Ragatha. -Well, how am I gonna please everybody if you all like different things? -[Zooble]: Maybe just keep your adventures open at all times and let us do whatever we want, when we want. -Are you hearing this, Bubble? The toybox character wants us to leave the other intelligent AIs to run for a prolonged period of time. -Disgusting! -[Zooble]: Am I not supposed to be hearing you? -Zippy! [zip!] -[Zooble]: What did you even zip up? I don't have a mouth. -Okay, well, how about this? We'll do a lightning round, going through all the suggestions in the suggestion box in rapid succession. And if you don't like one, you can all vote to skip it. -What? Like, now? -That's right! So, grab your bones and pop your pansies, 'cause here we go! -Wait, didn't we just finish an adventure? -I was gonna sleep! [dramatic music plays] Oh, wait, I know what this is! -[Zooble]: Oh, I swear to God, if this is one of your suggestions... -Hi, everyone! In today's episode of "Poach Everything," I'm going to be hunting the critically endangered red ribbon rhinoceros. Ahh, just like mom used to make. [cheerful musical sting plays] [growling] -[Zooble]: Oh, my God. -Ahh, delicious meat. One down, four to go! -[Zooble]: All right, I'm calling a vote. Let's skip this one -- and also make Jax a vegan for the rest of the day. -You can't do that. [high-pitched tones chiming] [buzzer blats] [ding!] What do you mean, you can do that? -Sorry, Jax -- democracy has spoken. -Democracy sucks. [portal shimmering] -[Pomni]: Wait, what? Why me? -[Jax]: Eh, I thought a position of power suited you. -[Zooble]: Oh, my God, are these all gonna be Jax's ideas? [patriotic music plays] -[Kinger]: Well, Ms. President, it looks like there are some new developments in the ongoing war between Australia and New Zealand. We may need to take in some refugees. What do you think? -Wh-- How do you know what to do? What? -[Kinger]: Didn't you get the brief? -I am... just being here. -You're doing great, Pomni! -[Kinger]: Come down here for a sec. [whispering] We all got briefs on our characters. I'm your assistant. -I-Is that a baby-head lamp? -[Kinger]: Didn't you get one, too? I figured we were all on the same page here. But, if not, you're gonna have to tap into those golden improv skills. -I'm sorry, what? -[Jax]: Oh, yeah! I didn't give you one 'cause I wanted to see what you'd do! -Thanks, Jax. Appreciate it. -[Kinger]: I'm not Jax. -[Australian accent] Oy, mate! I'm an Australian extremist, and I've come to detonate this bomb that'll release all the world's deadliest spiders into... [normal voice] Did I pick a bad time? [canned laughter plays] [laughter continues over speakers] -His acting is phenomenal. It's hard to believe he's vegan. -Why wouldn't the president have a bomb squad?! -Don't worry, President Pomni! I believe you can do this. -There's centipedes in there, too. -Just be sure you know what you're doing. -Okay, well, which wire do I cut? -Follow your heart. -You stay out of this! Shouldn't you be arrested, or something? -Hey, I'm on your side here. -You're literally not. -Come on, just pick your favorite color. -Like the red one? -[Kinger]: I'd personally go with blue. Blue's my favorite color -- it being closest to black, and all. -Wouldn't black be your favorite color, then? -[Kinger]: Well, no. There's no black wire. -Hi. I'm a New Zealand extremist, and... I... don't.. know what New Zealanders threaten people with. [bomb ticking] [mellow jazz music plays] ♪♪ -[distorted feedback blares] [cheerful pop music plays] -[Singer]: [singing in Japanese] ♪♪ -What is this? I don't like this. -[Zooble]: [sighs] Can it. At least we finally have one that's by someone else. -Yeah, there's nothing more fun than being back in school. -Just give it a chance, Jax. Jeez. -[Zooble]: There's nothing wrong with your suggestion. -Wh-- H-How did you know this was my suggestion?! -Can you believe this, Pomni? First she draws anime. Now she drags us all into one. [scoffs] She must be one of them, uh... losers. -You threw me out of a moving truck. -[Kinger]: All right, class. Today, we're gonna learn the popular foreign language known as... English? -This is boring. I vote we skip it. -[Zooble]: Shut up, we're not skipping it. -[scoffs] Slice-of-life animes are the worst ones. It's embarrassing! [chuckles] I mean, I guess it's not as embarrassing as that time Gangle took an anime figure and -- -Actually, yeah! We can skip it, that's fine! Let's skip this one! [mellow celestial music plays] [insects chirping softly] ♪♪ -Are we just chilling for this one? Can I finally relax? -Uh, I guess so. But, uh, I prefer a little bite to my adventures. -[Kinger]: [chomps] Then why don't you help yourself to a sangwidge? -[Zooble]: Here. -Thanks. -Do you think Gangle is actually capable of being happy? -What? -I dunno. Like, her comedy mask still breaks every day. Does she think hanging out with Zooble is gonna magically fix that? -Maybe she just doesn't wanna hang out with someone who's mean to her all the time. -She likes when I'm mean to her, though. -I didn't think you cared about what other people like. -[scoffs] I just... No, yeah, y-you're right -- I don't. -Do you have any... actual friends? -Not anymore. Oh -- Oh. Oh, wait, no. Uh, I'm -- I'm sorry. I-I wasn't talking about -- That --That wasn't meant to be -- Uh -- Uh... Hey, Kinger! [laughs awkwardly] Did you see the fireflies all the way over there? -[Kinger]: [gasps] Where?! -What was that about? -It's nothing. Who cares? [sighs] Doesn't she get on your nerves sometimes? -I mean, she's nice to everyone. -[sighs] I don't know, I just -- I think she tries way too hard. Like, we're stuck in -- Why are you always pretending everything's always fine? Like, if you tell someone they're loved and appreciated every day, it just kind of loses all meaning. [inhales deeply] [sighs] It just feels like she's trying to take advantage of you, you know? I don't know. Also, she's dumb, and she looks weird. -Eh, I think we all look weird. -[scoffs] Excuse you. This is what peak male performance looks like. My ears and tail are kind of the pinnacle of masculinity. -You don't have a tail. -[scoffs] What are you talking about? Yes, I do. It's -- It -- What the -- Where's my tail? How long have I not had my tail? -I have never seen you with a tail. -When would that have even... [stammers] ♪♪ -They look happy. -They do, don't they? -You think after this, maybe we could -- -Wait a minute! That's a bad thing! -Explain to daddy Bubble how bad thing? -I-I think that -- Don't say that. I-I think they're enjoying the suggestion box adventures more than the me adventures! What should I do? -You should die -- You should throw a [BLEEP!] beach party! -Why do you swear now? Ugh, forget it. Let's go to an intermission. [rewound audio warbles] -[deep sultry voice]: Intermission time. [record scratches] [trippy music plays] [remixed vocals play] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ -[Zooble]: Caine, what are we doing right now? -We're intermissioning! -[Zooble]: Why? Uh... Hello? -And now, back to the show! [moody jazz music plays] [bell jingles] ♪♪ -Gimme a whiskey sour. But hold the egg white, since I'm a vegan. Wha-- I hate this! How is this even possible? I thought Caine couldn't -- -[Zooble]: I could have made it way worse for you. -Well, I'm calling a vote to turn Zooble into a slug. [warbling tones play] [low tones play] -Everyone voted against that. -UUUUGGHH!! No hate it... [bell jingles] -[Kinger]: Phew! It's raining like the dickens out there. -Hey, guys. ♪♪ I'll have a cosmopolitan. -[Kinger]: Gimme a corncob blitz. -[Zooble]: I'll throw something together. -You know your way around alcohol, huh? -[Zooble]: Yeah. This was one of my suggestions. I worked at a bar briefly. I like making drinks. -[scoffs] That sounds fitting for you. -[Zooble]: I know there's an implication there, but I can't be [BOINK!] to figure it out. -So, Pomni, you ever have any jobs? Or are you too young for that? -I'm 25 years old. And, yeah. I was an accountant for a -- a supermarket chain. -A supermarket? How'd you end up here? -Well, I... sometimes got bored of things... and I would seek out mild thrills. Like exploring abandoned buildings, you know? And posting videos of it online. -Ah, a YouTuber. -Not really. Nobody watched them. It was just something I did for me. -[Zooble]: I sometimes did that. I wouldn't record it, though. Here's your cosmo. -Thanks. -Hiding something. -[Zooble]: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you? What's your story, then? -Ah, I thought you'd never ask. Well, after my lung cancer diagnosis, me and my junkie associate from a chemistry class I used to teach -- -[Zooble]: I figured. How about you, Gangle? -Hey, I wasn't done. -[Zooble]: If you're gonna make [BOINK!] up, at least be creative about it. I know what you're referencing. -Was that a reference to something? -Uh... I worked in fast food. -[Zooble]: You've done more than that. What about your art? -I was in community college for graphic design, but I dropped out. I didn't really pursue art much after that. -[Zooble]: Hey, I'm always down to make art together, if you want. -Oh, I didn't know you were an artist, too, Zooble. -[Zooble]: Uh, yeah, I was a tattoo artist for a couple years. -A bartender AND a tattoo artist? [laughs] You're killin' me here, Zoobie. -[Zooble]: What do you mean when you say that? Do you have, like, an actual point? Or are you just talking? -I'm just havin' fun. I forgot you hate fun. -[Zooble]: Fun isn't the thing I hate. -I guess I'll go now. Oh, jeez, where to start. [laughs nervously] Um, I was born into a fairly wealthy family. We had a large property with horses and chickens. And my mother... Uh, well... my mother was... a lot. Uh, I worked in real estate for a bit until I ended up... here. [sighs] I'm sure she doesn't miss me. I certainly don't miss the yelling... and the berating... and guilt-tripping... [laughs nervously] And the... Yeah. [laughs] Just kind of a farm girl. Nothing too out of the ordinary. ♪♪ -And no point in asking Kinger, 'cause there's no way he remembers anything. -[Kinger]: Never better! -Do you guys know about his wife? -Huh? -[Kinger]: MY WHAT?! Oh. -[scoffs] [door opens] [bell dings] -[NPC]: He-- -What? -[Zooble]: That's disappearing guy. That's just what he does. -I see. From a previous adventure? -Yeah. God, Pomni. You didn't know that? -[Zooble]: I'm ignoring you. -By the way, Pomni, sorry about the whole president thing. I just thought it'd be funny. -Uh, are -- are -- are you apologizing? What's happening? -[Zooble]: Just ignore him. -Uh... Apology accepted. I guess. -Wow, the first steps of a budding friendship. Right, Ragatha? -Uh, hey, Pomni. Remember when Kaufmo smashed me against the walls and I got all jumbled up? Ah, all things considered, that was pretty funny, right? -Noooo? Not really. -Oh, yeah, yeah. No, sorry. That was probably pretty traumatic for you. -Ooh, remember when you got high at McDonald's and told Gangle to kill herself? [chuckles] Now that was funny. -What? I-I did not say that! I-I think. No. No, of course I didn't. I -- And I am still so, so sorry about that, Gangle. I would never have said anything like that if I didn't get that stupid sauce in my eye! -Jeez, Raggy, just let yourself be mean sometimes. It's funny. -[Zooble]: Yeah. Constantly tormenting Gangle's really funny, Jax. -You guys all take this place way too seriously. Wh-- What is this? Why'd you do that? Can you get that thing away from me? -[Zooble]: Are you afraid of corn? -No. Who's afraid of corn? [exclaims] -I'm bored! Let's go to the next adventure! -[Zooble]: You're not even a part of -- [crowd cheering] -[Caine]: [through microphone] It's softball, ladies and gentlemen! -[Ragatha]: O-Oh. We're doing this now? -Beautiful night for a game, right, Bubble? -BLEEEH!! -We've got the Big Tops playing against the Evil Big Tops! -'Sup, [BLEEP!]? I'm Evil Pomni. -[cackling] I'm Evil Ragatha! -[Evil Kinger]: Coach Dictatorer, here! -[nervously] Uh, hi, guys. I-I'm Evil Jax. -[Evil Orbsman]: Evil Orbsman, reporting for duty! -[Evil Zooble]: [goofy voice] I'm Bazooble! [babbles] -Well, that wasn't in my suggestion. -Why don't I get an evil clone? -But first, let's welcome our special guest, here to sing the American national anthem. [crowd cheering] [microphone feedback squeals] -[Disappearing Guy]: ♪ Oh, sa-- ♪ [applause] -[screams] -[Kinger]: All right, team! I may not know what's going on or who is going on, or when is going on, or why is going on, but I do know where is going on, and it's out on that field. So, let's go break some tailbones, team. -H-Hey, guys. -I-I hope we all have a fun game, no matter who ends up winning. -I wanna kill that guy. -Well, hello, Stupidgatha! I hope you're ready to get completely annihilated! [cackles] Nobody loves you, and you're going to die someday! [cackles] -We can't exactly die. That's like the whole thing here. -[Evil Orbsman]: What the frick? -Huh? Oh, check this [BLEEP!] out. You're out, dumb-[BLEEP!] -[BOINK!] it! -Hah! Get owned! -[BLEEP!] yeah, that's what I'm sayin'. -Ah, she's cool. Wait, w-what's that? [chime rings] What the heck?! Who did this?! -[giggles] -YOU! -[screaming] -[Zooble]: Hey! -[wailing] -[Kinger]: Jax, you're up to bat! -I cant -- Don't wanna -- [stammers] I look like this, though! -[Zooble]: Seems fitting for you, though. I figured you'd be into this. -What does that mean? What's that supposed to mean? -[Zooble]: I'm just havin' fun. I forgot you hate fun. -I don't want to wear this! [breathing heavily] -[Zooble]: I have never seen you this upset about something. -[Kinger]: Jax! Bat! -I'm gonna kill you when this is over. -[Evil Zooble]: Let's see what you're made of! -Sh-- Shut up! -D-Don't worry! I think you look good! -I don't want to hear that! I want you dead! -[chomps] -Huh, I guess there's no more ball. We're done. -[Kinger]: Wait! I got this! Hmm. -[Zooble]: Wh-- Hey! -[Kinger]: Sorry, Zooble. It's just the perfect regulation softball size. We're not playin' baseball, here. -[sighs] I'm not doing this anymore. -[Kinger]: Wait, Jax! Wh-- What about where is going on? -[sighs] I can't believe I hit it right to her. I'm supposed to be better than that. [sighs] Sorry. I should be a better sport. -Not to, like, agree with Jax, or anything, but there's nothing wrong with showing your negative emotions. That's... pretty normal. -[sighs] I don't know. I don't want to be a jerk, or anything. -I think we all need to be a jerk sometimes. -[mumbles] Maybe. Who knows? -[Zooble]: Caine! We need a ball here! -[snores] [stammers] Wha-- Oh! [schwing!] -[Zooble]: Jax, we have a ball now! What are you doing? -Ugh, see ya. Whoops, I missed. Oh, darn, I'm out. -Having fun? -Oh, you know it. Oh, look, Gangle's up to bat. How do you think this is gonna go? -Would you stop trying to force her to act like you? -Oh, yeah, I should force her to be happy all the time instead -- right. -Well, it's better than turning her into some insensitive jerk who deflects everything. -I can think for myself, guys. -Hey, I ain't forcin' anything on ya. -And then you just act like you never do anything wrong and everybody loves you, when, in reality, you just [BONK!] everything up for everyone else! -Okay, let's, like, calm down a bit. -What?! You're the one who said it's fine to be a jerk sometimes! Ugh! I'm sorry, Pomni. [sighs] That wasn't very cool of me. -I-It's fine. -No apologies for me? This is so sad. -[sighs] I'm sorry, Jax... for... for bringing up that thing earlier. -So... You wanna... talk about that? -I'm in a maid outfit. What do you think? [yelps] -[sighs] So, how's the game going? -[Kinger]: Great! Gangle hit a home run! -Really? -Yeah. Your instructions helped me a lot. -Huh. [laughs softly] -[Zooble]: Can you give me my eye back? -[Evil Zooble]: Jokes on you -- I've already forgotten what you're talkin' about! [grunts] -Wowie! Another home run! And that makes three home runs in a row! The Big Tops win! -Uh, that's... not how softball works. -Well, that's how my softball works. We're done! Hooray! -No! [shrieking] -Ugh. [BLEEP!], man. We didn't even get to bat. -[Kinger]: You did it, Ragatha! -Whoa! -[Kinger]: We won! -Uh, I mean, I guess. [laughs] -Good job -- whatever you did. -[Zooble]: Huh? Uh, oh, yeah. Good job, team. -Huh? Oh, cool. I'm not a vegan anymore. -Oh, hey! W-Wait, what are you -- -[growling] -[screaming] -[Kinger]: Why is going on?! [screaming and growling continue] [portal shimmering] -Well, I hope we all learned that suggestion box ideas are actually not fun at all, and Caine's ideas are much better! -[Zooble]: Well, some of them were pretty okay. -I kind of liked the low-stakes ones. -I thought the first two were awesome. The rest, eh. Oh, yeah, Pomni -- I can show you that thing in the hall I was talking about. -Uh, oh, yeah, sure. -[sighs] [sinister music plays] ♪♪ ♪♪ [upbeat jazzy music plays] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ [Captioned by Foulweather Studios] ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪
