About this video

• Video Title: The best way to apologize (according to science)
• Channel: TED-Ed
• Speakers: None explicitly named, narration is present.
• Duration: 00:05:06

Overview

This video explains the key elements of a sincere and effective apology, drawing on scientific research. It differentiates between accidental and intentional offenses and provides guidance on how to approach each situation to effectively make amends and repair relationships.

Key takeaways

• Effective Apologies Require Key Elements: Good apologies generally share specific components that, when thoughtfully considered, help in making amends.
• Responsibility is Central: Understanding and accepting responsibility for one's actions is the core of a good apology, even for accidental mistakes.
• Focus on the Wronged Party: The purpose of an apology is not to make the apologizer feel better, but to understand the perspective of the person who was wronged and repair the relationship.
• Acknowledge Wrongdoing Clearly: Explicitly admitting what you did wrong and how it caused harm is crucial for the apology to be meaningful.
• Offer of Repair is Critical: This involves stating how you will change your behavior and what you will do to fix the damage caused, which is often considered the most important part of an apology.
• Apologies are About Remorse and Accountability: The ultimate goal of an apology is to express regret and accept responsibility, serving as the first step toward reconciliation.

Here are four questions for adult learners at a B1 level, based on the video segment around 3:15, along with their answers:

1. Question: What does the speaker say you should do with your apology after understanding your mistake? Answer: You should frame your apology around addressing the other person's concerns.

2. Question: What is it important to admit when you apologize for breaking a promise? Answer: It is important to admit that it was wrong of you to break the promise.

3. Question: Why is admitting how your actions caused harm helpful for the apology? Answer: It helps the other person have faith that you will behave differently in the future.

4. Question: What does the video suggest you should do besides promising to do better? Answer: You should indicate exactly how you will change and what you will do to repair the damage caused.