About this video

• Video Title: The Role of a Husband After Having a Baby | Jordan Peterson
• Channel: Jordan Peterson Lessons
• Speakers: Jordan Peterson
• Duration: 00:04:56

Overview

This video discusses the essential roles of a husband in the first nine months after a baby's birth, emphasizing support for the mother and actively engaging with the infant. Jordan Peterson outlines how fathers can contribute to the baby's development through play and physical interaction, helping the child explore their limits and build trust. The video also touches on the importance of the mother's well-being and the need for self-care to avoid burnout and resentment.

Key takeaways

• Support the Mother: The primary role of a husband in the first nine months is to support the mother in caring for the infant, ensuring she is not pushed beyond her capacity.
• Engage with the Infant: Fathers should actively play with and physically interact with the baby, which helps the child explore their physical limits, develop trust, and establish a bond.
• Father-Child Play: Men are particularly good at playing with young children by pushing them beyond their comfort zone in a playful manner, which aids in their development.
• Self-Care for Parents: Both parents, especially the mother due to the demands of infant care, need to prioritize self-care to prevent exhaustion, resentment, and maintain effective long-term care.
• Negotiate Responsibilities: Couples need to openly negotiate household and financial responsibilities based on their individual needs and exhaustion levels.

Fathers can help babies explore their physical limits and develop trust through play by engaging in activities like stretching, lifting, and flipping the baby in a manner that is both enjoyable and introduces elements of surprise. This type of play pushes the baby beyond their simple comfort zone into a zone of intense play, helping them understand the distinction between pain and pleasure and building a foundation of trust.

If a mother notices she is becoming irritable and resentful, she should determine and discuss with her partner whether this is due to her own irresponsibility and immaturity, or if she is demanding too much of herself. These feelings can arise because she is constantly on call and her sleep is disrupted, and she needs to be spelled off and guard herself against the guilt of not wanting to be with her baby all the time. It's important to remember that taking care of a baby is a demanding role, and self-care is crucial to avoid burnout.