For the first 9 months, the primary role of the father is to support the mother in her intense care of the infant and to spell her off.
Children who are not attended to enough physically, especially around the age of three, may exhibit vague attention spans and uncoordinated, ungraceful movements. This state is likened to an "uncarved block" in Taoist philosophy, indicating a lack of sharpening and development that comes from attentive interaction.
This video discusses the essential roles of a husband in the first nine months after a baby's birth, emphasizing support for the mother and actively engaging with the infant. Jordan Peterson outlines how fathers can contribute to the baby's development through play and physical interaction, helping the child explore their limits and build trust. The video also touches on the importance of the mother's well-being and the need for self-care to avoid burnout and resentment.
Fathers can help babies explore their physical limits and develop trust through play by engaging in activities like stretching, lifting, and flipping the baby in a manner that is both enjoyable and introduces elements of surprise. This type of play pushes the baby beyond their simple comfort zone into a zone of intense play, helping them understand the distinction between pain and pleasure and building a foundation of trust.
If a mother notices she is becoming irritable and resentful, she should determine and discuss with her partner whether this is due to her own irresponsibility and immaturity, or if she is demanding too much of herself. These feelings can arise because she is constantly on call and her sleep is disrupted, and she needs to be spelled off and guard herself against the guilt of not wanting to be with her baby all the time. It's important to remember that taking care of a baby is a demanding role, and self-care is crucial to avoid burnout.