About this Video

• Video Title: What Is a Negative Loyalty Pattern?
• Channel: Teal Swan
• Speakers: Teal Swan
• Duration: 00:15:37

Introduction

This video explores the concept of "negative loyalty patterns," common dysfunctional relationship patterns that hinder well-being. Teal Swan uses case studies to illustrate how these patterns manifest and offers methods for identification and change.

Key Takeaways

• Negative Loyalty Patterns Defined: These are beliefs and behaviors that maintain closeness with another person (often early caregivers) at the expense of one's well-being. They are detrimental yet maintain a sense of allegiance and connection.
• Case Studies: The video presents three examples: Peter, who maintains low self-esteem to avoid conflict with parents; Raquel, who sacrifices her athletic potential to remain "good" for her controlling mother; and Jabari, who sabotages his future to stay aligned with his impoverished community.
• Identifying Negative Loyalty Patterns: Swan suggests asking if a belief or behavior maintains alignment with, or prevents conflict with, a significant person. Consider whether the pattern is rooted in childhood experiences and ask how it serves the other person.
• Breaking Negative Loyalty Patterns: Analyze how changing the detrimental pattern would affect those involved. Consider whether maintaining the pattern benefits anyone, especially the individuals to whom loyalty is given. Consciously choose to change detrimental behavior despite potential consequences. Negative loyalty, often mistaken for self-sabotage, serves a protective function. Addressing it requires recognizing its purpose and consciously choosing a different approach.
• Transcendence of Negative Loyalty: These patterns extend beyond childhood and even death, highlighting their enduring influence.

Teal Swan argues that there is no such thing as self-sabotage. Instead, behaviors often labeled as self-sabotage, including negative loyalty patterns, serve a self-preserving or self-protecting function. These actions, however extreme, ultimately aim to maintain a sense of safety and alignment with significant others, even if those actions are detrimental to the individual's well-being.